Sorry I didn't post yesterday. My roommate and I decided to go to Dahlonega to our Alma Mater to watch the last home basketball of the season. My roommate played basketball at NGCSU so it was really fun to sit beside her and watch the games because both games were very intense!
So, as I read my devotionals for yesterday and today, they seemed to really build upon one another. As I was reading through both of them, I found that what Jesus was trying to tell me was that I need to think about all the different things that happen throughout my day. When something doesn't go the way that I want it to or a student does something that upsets me, what is my reaction?
Many times, I am faced with the thought of giving up; with throwing in the towel. Jesus tells us in 1 Peter 5:7 that we should "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." This is what helped get me through my first 2 months of teaching, and to be honest, it is what helps get me through the day even now. I dealt with a lot of anxiety when I first began my teaching job. So much so that I truly doubted whether I was going to stay at my school and continue to teach the rest of the year. I remember calling my aunt one night and asking for her to come pick me up from Gainesville because I just couldn't do it anymore. She came and picked me up and I remember asking her to drive me the next morning to meet with our Preacher. When I walked into his office that morning, I remember just breaking down in the chair in his office and just telling him that I didn't know what was wrong but that something just wasn't right. As he began to pray with me and for me, I found that a sense of comfort came over me. It was at that moment that I remember truly knowing that Jesus was working on my Spiritual life.
I was not active in church at the time. I can make up reasons as to why but the reason was simply that I was making the choice to not go. I was in the midst of a Spiritual Battlefield, as I like to call it. I realized, sitting in the office at my church, that if I wanted to be able to get through my first year of teaching, I was going to have to take it day by day and not only that, but I was going to have to hand it over to God. And I'm not talking just the parts of my life that I wanted to hand over, I had to hand over everything. When I returned to the classroom on Monday, I arrived early to my classroom so that I could have quiet time before my students came in. I also spent every moment possible just saying a small prayer of comfort or a prayer of wisdom. I prayed that if He could help me make it through that day, and only that day, I would be forever grateful. I can honestly say, and ask my co-workers, that I would have NEVER made it through those first months without my faith in Jesus Christ. Without Him, I would not be in the classroom currently.
As I read the devotional for today, those past feelings of anxiety and the feelings of wanting to give up in August came back. It reads, "Make Me central in your consciousness by praying continually: simple, short prayers flowing out of the present moment". This is something that I dealt with when I first decided to allow (yes I had to make the decision to allow Him to take over my life) Jesus to pour into my life...I knew that 1 Thessalonians 5:17 told us to "pray without ceasing". As I would think back on this scripture, I always questioned how He could possibly expect us to pray without ceasing. How were we supposed to get anything done every day if we spent all day praying? As I dug deeper into His word, I found that prayer doesn't mean that we have to be on our knees in a quiet location. All Jesus asks is that we keep Him on our minds constantly and always turn to Him. Not that we only turn to Him when we NEED him, but that we turn to him continually; positive or negative, we turn to Him. The challenge that I give you tonight is that you try to spend more time praying to Jesus throughout the day.
All day.
Every day.
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