Free Time

When many of you read the title, you probably thought to yourself "Free time--I don't have any of that"!  I think the same thing many times.  Especially during the day at school...many times I just want a little "free time" to myself.  That being said, the post tonight comes from the book "Lady in Waiting".  This is a book that I have been reading since Winter Break but it has taken me quite a bit of time to work through it because it has challenged me so much that I find myself not able to get through an entire chapter at a time.  This has been one of the best book recommendations that any of my friends could have made!! Thanks Lindsey and Caitlin!

So...back to Free Time!  As I was reading through chapter 2, I took note of the following story.  It is a story about how there is something that every unmarried woman has that married women give up on their wedding days...free time! Now, that's not to say that every single woman has ton of free time just because they aren't married.  It goes on to describe that when you become a married woman, you now have a husband and a new life.  Many times, parenthood comes next and kids take up most of your time.  As a single woman, you don't have your time invested in a husband or children.  This simple fact shows that as a single woman, you have more time to invest in Jesus.  Over the past 6 months, I have come to this realization of "free time".  It wasn't until I read this chapter, that I thought about this free time being available to invest in Jesus.  To invest in serving the Lord and making a difference.  Having just recently started this blog, I could never imagine the blessings that could have come from it! I have had so many friends, family members, and church family members letting me know how much they enjoy reading it and following it! It makes me so proud to know that I am serving the Lord by sharing my experiences through my walk with Him.

A quote that I loved, in this same chapter, is "Too many young women waste valuable years as they wait for life to begin--after marriage".  How many of you have found yourself in a moment of waiting that you felt like you were waiting for something but you didn't know what you were waiting for?  Just tonight, on my drive back to Gainesville, I was thinking about how I don't have anything hung in my bedroom in my apartment and how it doesn't feel like a "true" place to call home.  When I think back on why I haven't done more as far as decorations go, I realize that I am telling myself that this is only a temporarily place to live.  Think about how we do this to God.  How we tell Him that we know that He wants us to do more in our community, in our churches, in our personal lives, but we tell Him "not now", "I'm not going to be living in this community long...I'll do more in the next community I live in".  Why is it that we put God on hold so much?  Why is it that we always insert the word BUT into our conversations with Him?  Why do we waster His valuable time?  He has given us this free time to spend doing His will and following His plans but we waste it! 

We throw it out the window and we waste it....

Dreams

I am updating my blog from my phone tonight because I left my computer in my car (which is too far away for me to walk to right now!!). 

I have been trying to figure out exactly what I wanted to blog about next because I feel as though Jesus has really been speaking to me in MANY different ways over the past couple of days. As I read through my devotions Saturday morning, before going to Winder to watch a basketball game with my family, I found myself sitting in tears because I felt as though Jesus was screaming at me through these books! Not screaming at me in a "bad" way but unveiling things to me that I really needed to be challenged with. 

The first thing that He was revealing to me was something that made me feel so special!  In Jesus Calling, Sarah Young writes about how "secret things belong to the Lord, and future things are secret things". I always want to know what the future holds for my life. I want to know if I should continue to teach in Gainesville. Should I move home. What should I do with the rest of my life. When will I get married. Will I ever get married. These are all things that I wonder about. After reading this devotion on Saturday, I came to feel special because what Jesus is saying is that He know what my future looks like but He is only going to tell me a little at a time. I thought about it as being on a "need to know" basis! Doesn't that make you feel special? To know that you are so important that Jesus is going to "let you in" on His secrets! Many of you know all the struggles that I have gone through over the past year and that most of those struggles could have been prevented if I would have just put my trust in Jesus Christ and allowed Him to guide my future. 

The second thing that Jesus revealed to me is that "dreams have no expiration date". This realization goes hand-in-hand with the previous point because it deals with my future. 
In Joshua 14:6-13 you read of the story of Caleb, who chose to trust in the Lord when others were not following Him. And because Caleb chose to follow the Lord Jesus Christ wholeheartedly, he was blessed with the land of Hebron. Just as Caleb chose to follow Jesus and not doubt Him, we should choose to also follow. Not just follow when we want to or when things are going good; we should choose to follow Him  ALWAYS! "Take My Heart Oh God" writes about how dreams do not have an expiration date. Many times God has placed desires in our hearts and many times this is where our dreams come from. It's not bad to have dreams but we should make sure not to get upset with God when our dreams don't come true when or how we want them to. "Life's unexpected circumstances come as no surprise to God. Instead, you may find that God is moving you toward a dream perfected for you--better than you have imagined."  Doesn't that calm that feeling inside you that makes you anxious about the future? As I read this, I felt at ease to know that when something unexpected happens, it is part of God's plan and He may be moving me in a better direction...better than I could ever imagine! Wow! Isn't God good??

I leave you with this: "Relax and enjoy the journey in My Presence, trusting Me to open up the way before you as you go." -Jesus Calling

Give It Up

Sorry I didn't post yesterday.  My roommate and I decided to go to Dahlonega to our Alma Mater to watch the last home basketball of the season.  My roommate played basketball at NGCSU so it was really fun to sit beside her and watch the games because both games were very intense!

So, as I read my devotionals for yesterday and today, they seemed to really build upon one another.  As I was reading through both of them, I found that what Jesus was trying to tell me was that I need to think about all the different things that happen throughout my day.  When something doesn't go the way that I want it to or a student does something that upsets me, what is my reaction? 

Many times, I am faced with the thought of giving up; with throwing in the towel.  Jesus tells us in 1 Peter 5:7 that we should "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." This is what helped get me through my first 2 months of teaching, and to be honest, it is what helps get me through the day even now. I dealt with a lot of anxiety when I first began my teaching job.  So much so that I truly doubted whether I was going to stay at my school and continue to teach the rest of the year.  I remember calling my aunt one night and asking for her to come pick me up from Gainesville because I just couldn't do it anymore.  She came and picked me up and I remember asking her to drive me the next morning to meet with our Preacher.  When I walked into his office that morning, I remember just breaking down in the chair in his office and just telling him that I didn't know what was wrong but that something just wasn't right.  As he began to pray with me and for me, I found that a sense of comfort came over me.  It was at that moment that I remember truly knowing that Jesus was working on my Spiritual life.  

I was not active in church at the time.  I can make up reasons as to why but the reason was simply that I was making the choice to not go.  I was in the midst of a Spiritual Battlefield, as I like to call it.  I realized, sitting in the office at my church, that if I wanted to be able to get through my first year of teaching, I was going to have to take it day by day and not only that, but I was going to have to hand it over to God.  And I'm not talking just the parts of my life that I wanted to hand over, I had to hand over everything.  When I returned to the classroom on Monday, I arrived early to my classroom so that I could have quiet time before my students came in.  I also spent every moment possible just saying a small prayer of comfort or a prayer of wisdom.  I prayed that if He could help me make it through that day, and only that day, I would be forever grateful.  I can honestly say, and ask my co-workers, that I would have NEVER made it through those first months without my faith in Jesus Christ.  Without Him, I would not be in the classroom currently.  

As I read the devotional for today, those past feelings of anxiety and the feelings of wanting to give up in August came back.  It reads, "Make Me central in your consciousness by praying continually: simple, short prayers flowing out of the present moment".  This is something that I dealt with when I first decided to allow (yes I had to make the decision to allow Him to take over my life) Jesus to pour into my life...I knew that 1 Thessalonians 5:17 told us to "pray without ceasing".  As I would think back on this scripture, I always questioned how He could possibly expect us to pray without ceasing.  How were we supposed to get anything done every day if we spent all day praying?  As I dug deeper into His word, I found that prayer doesn't mean that we have to be on our knees in a quiet location.  All Jesus asks is that we keep Him on our minds constantly and always turn to Him.  Not that we only turn to Him when we NEED him, but that we turn to him continually; positive or negative, we turn to Him.  The challenge that I give you tonight is that you try to spend more time praying to Jesus throughout the day.  

All day.

Every day.  

Trust

As I was reading my devotions tonight, I began thinking about the word trust.  Many times I tell people that I trust them.  I tell my students that I trust tthey are telling me the truth.  I tell many of my friends to just trust what I am telling them.  But what does it mean to truly trust someone.  

Dictionary.com defines trust as: the reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of a person or thing; confidence.  When I tell someone that I trust them, am I truly putting all of my reliance into them?  Am I confident in their ability?  Many times I think that I use the word trust very loosely.  When I began reading tonight, I found that Jesus was speaking to me about how I trust in Him.  I pray to Him every morning and I communicate to Him that I am putting my trust in Him, but when I examine my day, did I truly put ALL of my confidence in Him or did I doubt Him at some point?  Many times I tell myself, "I know that God is going to get me through this" or "I know God has a plan for my life and I just need to wait for Him to show it to me", but do I really trust in Him enough to wait for Him?  

The answer is NO! 

I have found that I do not put enough trust in Him.  I want to sort my life out on my own, I don't want any help! This is something that I am battling right now and many of you may be going through the same thing.  

One of the things that stands out to me the most right now is this: "I am 23 years old and single...".  I began reading "Lady in Waiting" around Christmas time and I found that many of the things that Jackie Kendall and Debby Jones talk about in this book are big huge eye openers.  One thing that stood out to me was this.  "Incompleteness is not the result of being single, but of not being full of Jesus."  How can I expect to be happy when I do not trust that Jesus is going to make me complete?  That He is the only thing that can fulfill my happiness and make me feel complete.  I don't need a boy to make me happy or make me complete.  Society puts so much emphasis on what age you should be when you get married, how old you should be when you have your first child, when you buy your first home, all of those things. 

 Instead of focusing on what society is telling me, I need to be focusing on what 

Jesus is saying. 

This is a challenge that I give each of you for tomorrow...Think about how much trust you put into Jesus every day.  How much of your life do you put in His hands? Try to spend the day tomorrow giving more to Him and allowing Him to show you new things...I think you and I will both be surprised at what He reveals to us!

Have a wonderful Tuesday night.  

Jesus Calling...

Sarah Young is the well-known author of many different daily devotionals...including Jesus Calling.  I recently purchased this devotional, along with Take My Heart Oh God, based on several recommendations.  While I was at the store, I also found that there is also a Jesus Calling Devotional Bible, which I also purchased!  I have truly enjoyed diving deep in God's word and learning something new every day.  

This afternoon, I found that I was telling myself, "Jesus is Calling but you're sending His calls to Voicemail".  I became very upset over this realization.

  

Why am I ignoring His phone calls?  

How can I expect to have a relationship with someone if I never answer His call??

I have recently been dealing with a "human relationship", as Sarah calls it, and this has caused me to think even more about my relationship with Jesus.  If I invested even half as much time and energy into my personal relationship with Jesus Christ as I do with this guy, can you imagine how amazing my relationship with Him would be? 

If every time my text message tone was heard...that I ran to see what Jesus was saying?  What He was calling to talk about.  Instead, I find myself spending most of my day thinking about this BOY! 

Jesus definitely spoke to me through Sarah's book today.  It says, "...You will not find lasting peace in the world around you, in circumstances, or in human relationships..." Wow! No wonder I can't find peace when thinking about a human relationship...the only place that I can EVER find the peace that I want in my life is to live through Him.  

To worship Him.  

To talk to Him.  

To answer His calls! 

As if He hadn't made his point, I turn to today's devotion in Take My Heart Oh God and find this amazing prayer at the bottom..."Help me to understand that pain teaches me more about YOUR love, dear Lord".  

So I had to ask myself, all the pain that I have felt over relationships in the past month was all to teach me about His true love?  

Many times I think that females get so wrapped around what society wants us to think about how our relationships with guys should be like.  I mean, who doesn't want a "Noah" or a "Leo" (I love the Notebook and the Vow!)??  But what we should be wanting and striving to find is a relationship like what Jesus can offer us! The most amazing kind of love that ANY girl could ever want. 

I recently found this on Pinterest and it is a quote that I am looking forward to living by...

Psa. 27:14 Wait for the Lord; Be strong, and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the Lord. 

Personal Blog

I have decided that I want to start blogging about my personal life.  I follow a lot of my college friends and even people that I have never met, and I find such encouragement from reading their blogs.  They give me such encouragement because many times they are going through similar situations like myself.  

This blog is going to be a place where I can talk freely about the things that are going on in my life and ask for advice on everyday things! I look forward to meeting new people through the "blogging world".  I plan to talk about past and current relationships, work (I am a 5th grade teacher), family, and many other random details of my life! :) I am really excited about starting MY blog.  I have 2 other blogs (one that documents my trip to England during my Senior year of college and the other for my classroom) but I don't have a current blog that is just about me! 

I am excited that you have chosen to follow this journey with me and I look forward to hearing from everyone along the way!